Sunday, September 20, 2020

Be the Leader You Want To Follow

 Being a leader is the dream most of us have growing up, we just aren't told that's what the dream is. We all grew up wanting to be something. A Doctor. A Lawyer. A Coach. An Author. Some of us are still dreaming. I know I am. 

Some of us like myself are living the first part of the dream. Some are living it completely. Some of us are doing something totally different. What no one told us with every profession we dreamed of there is some form of leadership.

I grew up knowing I wanted to be a coach because of the game and how our Coach interacted with us. I never once thought about his responsibilities as a leader and also the people that were his leaders. I knew, loved, and respected our Principal, Superintendent, and members of our School Board-mainly because I always saw them. My Mom was on the school board, worked the football and basketball concession stands. I knew those people deeply cared about my school which in turn made me want to be a Coach. I judged their actions without considering all the decisions they faced. 

Yesterday, (Saturday, September 19th) I gave an hour presentation to the Missouri Basketball Coaches Association on the topic of Effective Communication. The topic is about how to communicate with your staff, your team, and other aspects of the coaching life, especially how to improve yourself. Every time I've given this talk, I come away wanting to be better myself, mainly as a Leader. 

At the root of Leadership is communication. You communicated your philosophy during the interview to get that position. You communicate your philosophy to those that work closest to you to keep you in that job. You probably share it with the largest share holders too so they feel included. But what about everyone else? What are you(we) as leaders doing to include everyone? Think about it for a second. How many of us have custodians that know the mission statement for your school or your program. 

"If your mission statement requires a pause for air or a drink, 
It's probably not getting the desired impact you want." 

Here are three things we all need to consider as a leader.

1. Don't lead from the window

Look outside. If it's raining, imagine just a clear, sunny day. Now, without looking at the calendar, or clock, or prior knowledge, tell me how it feels outside. Being a leader is about getting into the environment. Knowing what your people are going through. Know how they feel and what they are feeling. It could look like a nice 75(23 C) degrees day from my view and I step outside and it's a chilly 40(4 C) degrees or a scorching 101(38 C ) degrees. 

Assuming it is how you perceive or worse, 
How you hope it is are two of the biggest dangers as a Leader. 

2. Ask For Feedback 

Since March, I've been lucky enough to have several conversations with Annie Duke. Annie is one of the smartest people I've ever spoken to and learned from. Her book Thinking in Bets saved my career. Her new book How to Decide should be the curriculum for leadership.

On one of our Zoom calls with Annie, she described leadership in a setting I'd never considered. How many of us have walked into a meeting and asked for feedback in a group setting? All of us. You know who speaks up? (You are all thinking about those people right now) It's the usual people. It's one of these people:

The Choir - The ones who agree because they think that's what you want.
The Always has a question - The one who has a question that the rest all know the answer
The Cynic - The glass is half empty and actually has a crack in it
The Thinker - The one with a great idea...but it doesn't meet the policy so it isn't going to matter.
The Texter - The one who is texting to everyone what they want to say but won't say it out loud. 

Who'd I miss? Annie said this. "If you want true and real feedback, meet individually, and ask the question." You are going to get better feedback in that setting. Then have the group meeting. 

If you're a Coach reading this, most of our staffs aren't too big that this isn't an issue. If you're a Principal (and I know we have a few that follow) Meet with your Assistant Principals, Department Chairs. Have the Department Chairs meet with their Department first. 

Now, here's the best part. Go talk to someone "without a title". <GASP> Want to know how transportation is doing? Ask a driver. Want to know how your science department is? Ask the teacher with 2 or 3 preps. 

Coaches, ask your assistants. Then talk to your captain. Now talk to the player that never plays. Ask your manager about the climate of the team. 

We are going to ask our players this week how they want to be coached as individuals. 

Stop asking people the question you need to be answered
 that will answer how you want them to. 

3. Appreciate Your People

Thomas Powell has worked with me for the past 4 seasons. I coached him at my first job. 

If you look up the definition of appreciation, like I did, you get two. 

1. Recognition and Enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something. 

2. In general terms, Is an increase in the value of an asset over time.

Think about something you have you appreciate. I think about my friend Mike Neighbors when I typed that. He has some of the greatest things in his collection. You know how I know? He showed me. When you appreciate something you protect it but you want to show it to people that are important to you to. 

Remember when your mom use to put your homework on the refrigerator?  It was a way to show appreciation for your hard work.

Remember your first trophy? That might be the only thing in my room I ever dusted. I wanted it to shine. I even polished it once. 

Here is my 10 word standard for Appreciation.

Treat people like they are irreplaceable and watch their performance

What you will find is the people you appreciate will work harder for you. How do you appreciate them?

1. Their Time
2. Their Opinion
3. Their Actions

If you're worried about entitlement, that's where the polishing comes in. I'm never going to get to where I want without my people that "Red team" me from time to time. We all need to be polished.

I hope this helped you as much as it helped me sharing it. 

Take care of yourself and the ones you are leading.


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